Our first trip to the ER

 This was one of those days not only would you rather never re live, you also don't even want to re think about it. It's making me really sad to have to remember this horrible, scary day as a mom. This was a first for me and I hope it's a last. (although I know It most likely won't be). 

Let's start at the beginning. I work out a few days a week at our church gym. Which is just a hard, wooden basketball court floor. We have a knowledgeable instructor and I get a work out while Lucy and the other kids run around the court playing with balls, toys, riding there bikes etc.  It's great! 

So I was doing my thing and my back was to Lucy, but a friend happen to look over and see Lucy going to kick a ball, slip and fall up in the air and land right on her head on the floor. Like head over heels (is that the right term?)

She ran over and I still hadn't noticed assuming she was taking care of her own child when she and everyone else started calling my name. I ran over and just assumed it was a typical kiss her owie better and move on kind of a thing. I picked her up and almost immediately I knew something was seriously wrong. She was conscious but she was not with it. She wasn't screaming in pain, more letting out moans and shutting her eyes. She wouldn't look at me, she wouldn't respond to me, her body was practically limp. So the first and only child mother in me started to panic, I stood up carrying Lucy to the group to try to calmly stop the workout to ask for help and advice. I tried to keep my composure so I didn't look like a panicked freak. I still thought- maybe I am overacting, there was no blood, she isn't freaking out...? I just didn't know. All I knew was Lucy was not responding to me and that scared me to death. 

What happened after that until I got to the ER was a whirlwind. Let me just say I have some pretty amazing friends, and people I barely know that are the kindest, quickest thinkers I know! Next thing I know they have nurse friends on the phone, missionaries and a neighbor is coming to give Lucy a blessing, someone has offered to drive me to the hospital and that was that.

 I remember trying to keep Lucy awake in the car and also calling Erik and trying to calmly and bravely explain what was going on. I so wanted to beg him to come meet me but I felt bad not really knowing the severity of it and I knew he had Patients depending on him. Looking back though I should have asked and he did later show up he just didn't communicate to me that he was going to try to do that. Anyway- that was the worst part of this, was being alone. I really needed my brave, strong and sensible husband there.....or my mommy...I felt 12 years old. Scared, helpless and alone.

Lucy threw up a couple times once we got there and we struggled to keep her awake. My friend stayed with me for the first little while but once the initial doctor came and determined we needed a CAT scan we knew it would be a while and she had her toddler with her and had to help her other child coming home. She did deliver a change of clothes for Lu and some food for me. She was so kind. 

So the doctor basically said that Lucy had many signs leading her to believe she had a concussion. And that in those cases she recommends CAT scans to make sure there is not brain damage or injury. I felt good about doing that. The only problem was, partially due to Lucy's timid and scardy cat personality and then paired with her just being traumatized the girl WOULD NOT lay down and go through the scanner. I have never seen her so terrified and distraught in my life. She screamed at the top of her lungs and clung to me for dear life. Usually I can persuade her with a bribe such as Ice cream. Not even Ice cream was going to work today. She was screaming "I DON'T WANT ICE CREAM!!" Ha.

Because she wouldn't do it on her own it meant she had to be given drugs to make her calm and sleepy so we could get the scan. Which also meant hooking her up to a monitor and the whole shbang.  UGH! 

These pictures make me tear up! In the back of my mind I knew a concussion was scary but not the end of the world. I knew there was a small possibility she had more severe damage to her brain but I really felt like she didn't. So add that all up and logically I should have been totally calm. But there is something that just takes over when you have to see your kid in a hospital bed, hooked up to monitors, with no life in her, and she looks at you scared and in pain and there is nothing you can do, nothing! It's a horrible feeling. I really sat there and cried not just for us but really thinking about people who have children with chronic illness' that deal with this on a daily basis. How do they do this? My heart swelled with love and compassion for those families. I can't think of anything worse. I am sorry to anyone who has endured this, especially for a long period of time. Your amazing. 

The girl finally conked out so we could do the scan. 

After about another half hour the scan came back and it looked totally normal. 

Phew! What a relief! 

And by that point, look who perked up! A Popsicle in hand, staring at cartoons on the tv, and a stuffed animal on the lap. Life was good again. 

About this point both a neighbor of mine and Erik arrived. I can't even describe the relief I felt to see that support and love in the room. I don't handle emergencies well, especially alone. 

We were discharged and just instructed to have Lucy take it easy for the next few days. No running around or rough playing. Lots of rest! 

By the evening we had our first visitors. Grandma and Grandpa were so sweet to bring by flowers and a balloon. Lucy was pretty much back to her normal self. 

Also a sweet friend brought us by dinner. Wow people are great! 

We were overcome with all the kind texts, phone calls and messages from family and friends.

 It really made us feel loved! 

Lucy's head never even bruised or formed a bump. If you ask Lucy about it she doesn't seem to really remember it happening. It's crazy. I am just glad it's over and it ended well. I am sure I have prayers to thank for that!