Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Advice
Ok so it's been over a year now since Erik and I have been trying to get pregnant and 1 misscariage, 6 crappy doctors, 2 frustrating hospital visits, 30 home pregnancy tests, 4 boxes of home ovulation predictor kits and whole lot of tears and stress later...NOTHING! Ok...my rant stops there. Now i am finally going into a doctor and we are finally just going to start spending the money and figuring out if something is wrong. So i just would like anyone who has gone through this or has read about this stuff or heard stories to please let me know what i should ask and what i should have them look at. I know there is a whole lot of possibilites but its been good as i have asked a few friends they will say "have them check ____...when i went in that is what they found was my problem." I just want all of those suggestions i can get so i can go in with my list and just ask is this wrong...can we check this...lets have this test done...etc. This may be a stupid and awkward post but there is so much out there and i thought i would start by asking family and friends. Thanks you guys.
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12 comments:
First I want to send hugs to you. I am sorry you have to go threw all this.
It took us over a year to get pregnant with Meg. What we did was had Heber tested for fertility issues first. (I cant remember why, but there is a reason.) He had no fertility issues so we moved on to the next step.
We had contacted a hospital that specialized in fertility issues. (I cant remember which one, but there are a few out there so you can see which best fits your needs.) We were about to call and make an appointment and then I was all of a sudden pregnant. So my story stops here.
I know that your situation is different then mine, and I am not sure what you have already tried so this information may be useless to you.
I know that my dr's told me that they wont even see you for infertility until you have been trying for at least a year.
It sounds like you are doing the best that you can, hang in there.
sweetie unfortunately they are gonna start at the top of the list and work their way down. write down all the things you have been doing , pains you have when ovulating or having a period ..write down anything you think of so you can tell the doc what is going on, be calm and rational if you dont understand what he is asking or telling you ask him to explain. be very clear with what you want and be very clear about whatever he tells you, there is no point in making suggestions as they are gonna check everything wether you want them too or not! good luck and let me know how it goes
I know this sounds a little crazy, but I mentioned to my mother-in-law that you were having some problems getting pregnant (I was telling her about your cute bucket list idea) and she said, "oh, I should rub her feet." She has this reflexology thing she does that actually has helped a lot of women get pregnant. Hey, it's worth a try, right, and since she offered to do it for you (for free of course), I could let her know if you'd like her to do it. Give me a call and let me know.
Have your husband checked first because ... it's a lot easier and less painful than the stuff they have to do to women. (Not that all of the tests are painful ... just realative to ... well, what the guy has to do!) And ... I say let the lady do your feet for free! Stressing out about getting pregnant releases too much adrenalin. (I have heard that's why the percentage of becoming pregnant when raped is pretty low because the woman is afraid, stressed, etc.) Even if the foot thing doesn't help you get pregnant, I bet it would still feel nice!
We're not trying for kids yet, but all of the girl's in my family have experienced problems trying to get pregnant. My sister-in law and brother tried for almost 3 years, and they couldn't find anything wrong with either of them. She got pregnant when she said she was not so stressed about it--so I guess I second what that girl said about stress and adrenaline! For my sister, she was put on some kind of fertility drug (which made my brother in law scared that they would have multiples) and she just had her baby last month! good luck!
Hey guys...I'm sorry to hear about your stress. We're here for you if you need anything. My sister-in-law found that she was not able to get pregnant because she had a very low body fat percentage. Once she put on 10 or 15 pounds she got pregnant no problem. I'm not saying that's what I suggest because I'm obviously not an expert, but I just wanted to share that.
Try looking at these:
http://www.resolve.org/site/PageServer
http://www.asrm.org/
http://www.inciid.org/
http://www.fertilitext.org/
Keri-Anne is right, your best bet is to be able to give the Dr. the most detailed observations you have about your own body/cycle and let him do guessing.
If you want to give me your email address I might be able to send you some more information but here's what I can type out right now.
Get your husband tested first. It is a bit humiliating but much much easier than the tests they'll have to do with you and if the problem is with him then you won't go through all those procedures and then later find out it was something with him. It's something like 30-50% male factor (or partially male/partially female)in infertility cases.
You should get a basal body thermometer. There is a book called 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' Read that and take your temp for several months to see if there is any pattern that you can find in your cycles that will be helpful for the doctor. You will learn a lot about your body and it will help them to narrow down what it might be.
You definitely need to pay attention to any pains you have and when the happen in relation to your cycle because that can give a hint if it's cysts, endometriosis, etc. They will probably take blood first to check your hormone levels. Then they will start with some tests like an HCG (dye injected into your uterus and up your tubes to see if they are blocked), ultrasounds, possibly laproscopy. It can seem daunting but once you are seeing a reproductive endocrinologist you also know you are going to make some sort of progress to find out what is going on with your body.Once all the tests are done, even if they don't find an answer for you, the RE will set out a plan to get your pregnant. It may just involve some vitamins for Eric to take and some mild fertility meds, it may be that you need something a lot more invasive, but at least knowing what is next is really helpful. And do remember that miracles still happen. We were told that we would probably never get pregnant without at least IUI and injectable medications but Evan was our little miracle. I wasn't on any medications of any kind when I got pregnant with him.
It took us 4 years and 3 months to get pregnant with Evan. I had almost 2 years before I was diagnosed. Another 6 months before I saw an RE and a full year+ after that before I found out I was pregnant. Don't lose hope. And while I got very annoyed at people who would tell me to relax (because HOW can you relax when the one thing you want most is not happening) I don't know if it is a coincidence that I got pregnant just 3 months after we fully committed to adopting.
I understand the frustrations you have and I can only imagine being in a married student ward at BYU makes things a LOT harder. I want you to know there is still a lot of hope to be had and I'm sure you'll find some answers soon. And just because it is hard to get pregnant with your first doesn't mean it will always be. It took only 5-6 months to get pregnant with our second.
the basal body temperature idea works well, but it's a pain to do (not that you wouldn't be committed to it--i'm sure you would do anything!). my sis in law had a hard time getting prego and she started checking her temp and was able to better time the trys. she was telling me all about it so if you want more info, give me a call!
Samantha wasnt kidding about the foot rubbing thing. Her mother in law only offered to rub my feet and I got pregnant the next week. ha ha.
It was good seeing you and talking to you about this all last weekend. Im glad you are handling it so well. Too bad the weekend had to end with such a bang... is your Dad doin ok?
well, i wouldn't say i'm an expert in this area...but then again you could say that! i feel for you, and i am really, really sorry. i know the heartache it can cause. my first piece of advice would be-go to a doctor. you figured that out on your own. my second piece, and equally as important, go to a specialist--an infertility specialist. you may not think you're there yet, but you are and i promise you will simply be wasting time otherwise. there is one at the U that is supposed to be the best. my friend who lives in provo just had a successful in-vitro done in american fork, however. don't wait any longer! go to the professionals. please let me know if you have any questions, etc. i know how hard it is and it is so exciting that you're doing something about it! good luck!
I know this an old post but I just saw it and do have a little advice.
Make an appt with a fertility specialist - don't wait around for a regular OB/GYN - they will be able to do some test but in the end they will have you go to a specialist. so forgo waiting to get an appt with an OB/GYN - they can only do so much.
I know it is easier for your husband to get tested but once you see the specialist they are going to test you too - whether the problem is your husband or not. They will want to know what is going on with both of you. The first test for you will be blood test to check your hormone levels and then a HSG (google it - not painful despite what they say).
If you husband does have low count get him in to see a urologist that specialized in fertility (ask the doctor you see for recommendations if they don't have one on staff). That doctor will probably check your husbands blood for his hormone levels and do genetic testing.
A lot of test but you can do it!
Be your own advocate, once you know the problem (i hope everything will turn out okay) then ask lots of questions and push the doctor to get you started on treatment!
I wish you the best of luck. If you have other questions, I would be happy to tell all!
-I hope that your Dad has a speedy recovery, we will keep your family in our prayers!
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